Prologue
Old Blue | Thursday, November 24th, 2011 | 11 Comments »For those of you who have read my writings before, it’s good to write for you again. For those of you who haven’t, thanks for stopping by. In the next few days I will begin my journey back to Afghanistan for the third time. This is my first time deploying as part of a brigade-sized unit. A brigade from my home state of Ohio, the 37th Infantry Brigade Combat Team (IBCT), is in the process of deploying to northern Afghanistan after training for several months at Camp Shelby, Mississippi. How I came to be with them, to volunteer again, is a longer story. The train-up period seemed to drag on forever, with a certain degree of fatigue having set in before the actual deployment begins.
My uniforms, weapon and equipment surround me here in my billet. Some of my gear is already in Afghanistan waiting for me. Myself and the rest of my gear will be loaded onto a charter aircraft soon for the long, miserable flight across the world. Once again I will stand on the soil of Kyrgyzstan, then I will once again trod the soil of Afghanistan. I don’t anticipate a lot of excitement on this tour, but along with the familiarity of working with Afghans and our NATO allies will come new experiences. I am filled with a feeling that is similar to the anticipation of jumping into a cold pool having already experienced that same shock only recently; except this is more intense. It’s not really dread, but it’s similar. I know that this is going to last a while, that I will be uncomfortable, that I will miss my family and friends. I know that I will develop close relationships, but they are not that close at this point. I know that I will live in conditions that are similar to those of inmates at an Arizona county jail, and that it will suck.
Back through the doorway into Afghanistan (photo courtesy Rebecca Zimmerman)
Our mission in Afghanistan is a huge question in my mind. I just came back from my second tour a little more than a year ago. At that point, I was encouraged, but President Obama’s timetable for withdrawal had not had any significant effect by that point. Now it seems to have had an effect, and the mood of the American people regarding our mission and purpose there feels as if it is and has been in decline. That does affect us, it affects me; but we have a job to do in a potentially dangerous place. The sense of wonder and excitement that I had on my first tour is not there. I know a lot more what to expect. This tour will be nine months long, and I’ve already spent three times that long in Afghanistan. This will be my first experience in the north, having spent lots of time in the east and the south/southwest of the country. Once again, I will work as an advisor to the Afghans; this time working with the Afghan Border Police.
So I embark on this deployment with mixed feelings. My sense of determination is still there, but it is deeper and less intense-feeling. I wonder sometimes if I am not steeling myself for an outcome that is less than what I had hoped for in 2007, perhaps much worse. As it was before I headed out on my second tour, I feel a sense of anxiety about the “suck factor” of being away from my kids, of being out of the loop with the reality of life in the States, of living in spartan conditions and working daily in a third world country. There is very little, if any, sense of anticipation or excitement.
This is my starting point.
At the end of all this, I will be able to look back at what I have written here and see the ups and downs, the key events of my experience on my third tour. My intent for this blog is for it to be about the experience, not about my analysis of the bigger picture. That I will save for AfghanQuest. Here I will tell the stories of the long, strange trip that will be my third tour (and my last in this uniform).
i’d like to follow your blog. i am an avowed anti-war liberal BUT my son in law has a Purple Heart from Aghanistan, and 4 years as private contractor in IRaq. we have interesting discussions and i look forward to your point of view. i believe in supporting our troops-and have made 12 quilts for wounded warriors, most go to Landstuhl hospital, but some via Soldier’s Angels to Afghanistan so troops have some warmth in the cold. if you run into a construction brigade, ask for bracy bahm-he’s a nephew in law there!
May God Bless you on this journey. Please know that there are many many people who still support our troops, and will continue to do so until you are all home. No Thank You is big enough to cover the time lost with family, friends, other career pursuits nor living in such bad conditions, your sacrifices are not taken lightly nor will they be forgotten.
Safe Travels!
As a Blue Star Grandmother, my heart aches every time I hear of a unit deploying, again and again. My heart cheers for you when you come home safely. We are so indebted to men and women like you, your courage and determination are overwhelming. My prayers for a safe journey back to a grateful Nation.
I assure you that you are not, repeat not, entering that AO in a lame duck status! Regardless of what drivel comes out of DC and regardless of the American mindset … always try to remember that what you personally do on this third trip out will make a difference to someone! Your influence wil one day flower into greatness. Focus on the trees, because you have nothing to do with the forest, and your work will have meaning. chin up and, remember … It ain’t over till it’s over!
I just discovered you through a Soldiers Angel buddy of mine, through FB. I’ll be a regular reader now. Nice to “meet” you; safe travels and make sure you let us know how we can best support you! (I’m in Korea and can send anything MPS!!)
Very excited to find your blog and looking forward to your posts. Don’t get discouraged, Mate. The American people still stand behind you.Should you be in need of any care packages, please let me know. Last trip…get lots of pictures :) Thank you for your service!
Will be keeping track of you on here. Now time to get those care packages together of Mardi Gras beads for our “Beads for Peace” movement. LOL!
If you or your unit needs any goodies etc. Caring Hearts, Inc. Operation We Care will be happy to add you to our list of CSH’s and Chaplains in Afghanistan. Take Care Thank you for your service and for all of the sacrifices you continue to make for our great country. Just send me an email for more info or check CH on facebook. b
I’m in on the “beads for peace” movement. We’ll be starting on that mission in two weeks. It will be brutal, but our team has everything under control, and are expecting excellent results. LOL Stay safe and we will follow you on here. I’ll send some pics from our “beads for peace” movement, as well.
as a former New Orleanian, i know Mardi Gras beads bring love and luck and happiness. thank you for doing that for our troops
I am a new reader of your blog. First, thank you for the poignant narrative of the deployment in Afghanistan.
Please stay safe. The support for the NATO mission is entering a very low point. A comparison to Vietnam is gaining strength. Anti war sentiment is not pointed at our Military men and women. It is a confrontation with our elected government and its policy.
The careless actions of some individuals brings dishonor to the many.
Reading from Vancouver, Canada. Thank you for recording your experiences here. Whilst I personally am a stranger to war, I have lived locally in a third world country (Indonesia) and regularly visited a rural area in China. I know what it is like during times of peace to explore other cultures and work hard at being there (though I loved it too). It is hard work, regardless, so I imagine in times of war it is 100fold+.
Anyway, I am grateful for having found your blog, and am honoured to follow along in your journey. I wish you well.
karen